5 Steps to Being Your Beautiful Self
[This blog was originally written and posted on my old website. It has since been lost to the sands of time. But as beauty standards are beginning to narrow again, I felt it was time to blow away to cobwebs and rewrite the story. The 5 steps remain the same.]
Is the way we think of beauty changing? Are we the person we post on our socials? Do we feel like our filters? Are we snatched? Are our lips plump enough? More importantly, how’s your self-image? The way you view yourself? Do you see yourself as a parent, construction worker, influencer, friend, blonde, a sports fan? Are you proud to be intelligent, impatient, an activist or middle-aged? You’re more than your career, looks, gender, and age though. You’re more than your parents, your followers, and your boss’ opinions.
You’re a unique person with nuances that are distinctive to you!
When who you are is aligned with what you do, then that - my wonderful sparkle fart - is when you’re living authentically. That is when you are at your most gorgeous. But most of us view ourselves as one way yet live another. The most beautifully authentic people act honestly and congruently. The question is: How do we do that?
The benefits of this congruency are enormous: success, self-esteem, respect from others, and inner peace.
Those that live lives misaligned with their values, beliefs, and attitudes suffer from more anxiety, guilt, and shame. It might seem easier to live up to the expectations of others in the short term, but the long-term costs are massively significant.
So grab a pen & paper and let’s start taking some steps to determine your true self and get that little closer to living life on your terms:
Identify your core values. First up, let’s be clear - an authentic self-image is one that is aligned with your values. By being clear on your values, you’ll gain an understanding of what is important to you. Once you’re aware of your values, you can build a self-image and life that are more meaningful and enjoyable for you.
Make a list of your values. Create a long list and include everything that you think applies to you. Then, reduce your list to the ten values that are most important to you - your 10 Commandments, if you will. You might struggle to narrow your list to just ten, but ten values are plenty.
Determine where the conflicts lie. For example, you might say that adventure and freedom are two of your most important values, but what if you also strongly favour responsibility and security? Those values could be seen to lie in conflict with one another.
Decision paralysis is REAL - When you’re faced with an inner conflict, you’re likely to shut down and do nothing. If you’ve ever been paralyzed while making a decision, it’s more than possible your values were in conflict. Think back to when you’ve struggled to make a decision. Keep your values in mind and you’ll soon see the source of the internal struggle.
Do you have any values listed that aren’t really priorities for you? We often carry around perspectives instilled by our parents. Here’s a newsflash: they may have been wrong. By carrying those values around and trying to mould yourself to fit - you’re travelling a path of resistance that will drain your energy and whip your inner world into anxiety, anger or depression. Take this time to determine your values for yourself. Disregard what society says you should value. You’re an individual.
Create an action plan for each value. Imagine one of your values is frugality. You could create a budget and savings plan that incorporates that value. You might plan to start hunting down coupon codes, get your thrift on in charity shops, and search for free entertainment options available on the weekends.
Make a list of activities you enjoy that are in alignment with your values. For example, if generosity is a priority, you could find an enjoyable way to spend your time helping others. If health is a value you cherish, you could join a sports team or a yoga class. Find your favourite sport and participate. Seek your joy like it’s your job. Because it is. No one else can do it for you!
Evaluate yourself at the end of each day. Think about the instances when you failed to live according to your values. Don’t dwell on them but use those instances to build your mental model. Spend more time contemplating the times you were able to live according to your values and self-image, particularly when doing so was challenging! You don’t have to journal it or record it if that doesn’t come easily to you, but think it through and hold it close - revel in your own highlights reel.
To create a self-image that is in alignment with your truth. First, it is necessary to identify and choose your values. Next, take those steps to construct a life that allows you to live those values consistently and thrive.
Be bold enough to choose the person you want to become and live accordingly. The benefits are enormous. The more authentically you live - the happier you are. And more happiness in the world has to be better, right? Are you ready to make the world a more beautiful place, one value at a time?